Jean de Becdelievre

Jean de Becdelievre

PhD ’23, Aeronautics and Astronautics

“Praying the examen and discussing my progress weekly with Fr Bob has guided my climb back to a joyful life. It is the most essential skill I have learned throughout my entire student life.”

When I registered for a weekend-long silent retreat with the Catholic Community in February 2020, I was a shadow of myself and in dire need of help.It was the middle of my fifth year of graduate school at Stanford, two years working on a Master’s degree and two and a half more dry years working on what felt like pointless, fruitless Ph.D. research. While I had a roaring social life and many friends outside of Stanford, I felt deeply alone, ashamed of my academic results, and despaired about my prospects. My anxiety had taken over: it was so loud, so deafening.

At the 2020 silent retreat weekend, I met Fr. Bob Glynn, who remained my spiritual director for the three years that followed, all the way until I graduated with my Ph.D. this June, 2023. I would not have made it if God had not placed him on my path.

Fr Bob did not let me down after I missed every other one of our meetings – or appeared late – for the first many months. His faith that God was at work in me, despite all the noise – the social life, the anxiety, the despair – kept me trying. Week after week, I learned to pray the examen, to put my trust in God, and to notice His grace in my daily life. Understanding that God made me for joy has been a redeeming grace to overcome this difficult period.

Praying the examen and discussing my progress weekly with Fr Bob has guided my climb back to a joyful life. It is the most essential skill I have learned throughout my entire student life. I pray that God graces us all with a clear sight, that we detect when our egos are at work, and that we notice His overwhelming grace.