What does it mean to say “yes” to Jesus?
Matthew 21:28–32
[The Parable of the Two Sons]
“What is your opinion? A man had two sons. He came to the first and said, ‘Son, go out and work in the vineyard today.’ He said in reply, ‘I will not,’ but afterwards he changed his mind and went. The man came to the other son and gave the same order. He said in reply, ‘Yes, sir,’ but did not go. Which of the two did his father’s will?”
They answered, “The first.”
Jesus said to them, “Amen, I say to you, tax collectors and prostitutes are entering the kingdom of God before you. When John came to you in the way of righteousness, you did not believe him; but tax collectors and prostitutes did. Yet even when you saw that, you did not later change your minds and believe him.”
Music Meditations
Opening Prayer
Lord, help me to remember that the kingdom of heaven is not promised to the charmers, but to those whose life would make no sense if God did not exist. Help me to examine my behaviors and focus on the times I have failed to live up to promises I have made. Keep me focused on my behavior and my lapses, rather than the failures and lapses of others. You see into my heart, and know what is there. Help me to fill my heart with love for you and others so that I may have the courage and the energy to follow through on promises I have made.
Companions for the Journey
From “Frist Impressions“ 2008, a service of the Southern Dominican Province:
Remember index cards? I still use them and I notice some public speakers and preachers do too. Here is an index-card exercise. Think of the times people said they would do something for you -- and didn't. Include the people who said they would do something, were sincere about it, but then changed their minds or, their hearts turned away from you. Remember your disappointment? Write each time on a different
index card. Warning: this can be a painful exercise. Then stack the cards in front of you. Are there a lot of cards in that stack?
This will bring to mind incidents going all the way back to childhood when a friend made a promise with words and gesture, "cross my heart and hope to die." When a group of friends said they would get you through a difficult period or trial in your life and then, after initial responses, drifted away and got distracted by their own activities. A loved one dies and at the funeral home a cousin or sibling promises, "I will be there for you," and they weren't. A first date promised, but never called back and dropped off the face of the
earth. I think we would have preferred outright rejections, a "No, I can't do that for you," is much more honest than a "Yes," that turns out to be a "No."
When someone we trust or seems honest, gives us a "Yes" and doesn't follow through, we get blind-sided. We are caught off guard and are vulnerable, since we invested ourselves in their initial "Yes." We thought we could fall back on their word; that we could rely on them when we needed them, but they never showed up; never even followed through to tell us why they weren't there for us when we needed them. "But you said...," we want to protest. They aren't there to hear our disappointment.
There are some very serious moments in life when a person has given a "Yes" with solemnity and profundity. That kind of "Yes" is so serious it is placed in the context of a ceremony. Someone promises to love and be there in "good times in bad, in sickness and in death, till death do us part." But we come to discover that, even with all those words and ritual, the "Yes" was an empty one. Or, it was half-hearted. Or, after a while, a heart chilled, turned away and the "Yes" became a "No." How could we not be affected till this present moment by those disappointments? As we look at the index cards of empty promises, who would blame us for locking our heart in a box -- locking it up and never again giving it away or entrusting
it to another's promise? We look on those index cards with heavy hearts, scarred by the disappointments they represent.
But we need to also acknowledge the times we too have said our "Yes" -- and not followed through. Our "Yes" has become a ‘No." Do we remember? Should we write those occasions on another stack of cards to examine them and reflect on the effects those unfulfilled promises have had on others? We tried to please
someone and said "Yes," but meant "No." We said "Yes," to avoid a confrontation -- we were less than honest. We too gave our share of half-hearted "yeses." People thought they heard commitment behind our "Yes," but our heart wasn't in it and it never left home; it stayed back in fear or indifference. Those who trusted our "Yes" were disappointed. Those of us who took vows, may have become less than committed, while not unfaithful, still not given a whole-hearted and responsive "Yes." We may have taken another for granted; let things slide; become unwilling to invest ourselves again when the going got tough.
Through our baptism and the subsequent renewals of our baptismal promises, we have said our "Yes" to Jesus many times. But has that "Yes" now become a "No?" Have our religious practices become merely ritualistic? Do we give the impression of being committed to our faith -- but we know better. We may just
be following the routine made firm by years of repetition. Our hearts aren't really in it; our "Yes," truth be told, is really a "No." We suspect that if we wanted to make an authentic "Yes" to Christ and his service, we would have to make some serious changes in our lives and we have decided not to do that. We might be well aware of our deep-down resistance to God. We may be like people who go to a twelve-step program, listen to the witness of people who have been helped; hear what will be required of us to make a similar change, and decide to just go along pretending to what is not true -- our words don't measure up to the reality of our actions. We say a public "Yes," but we know our hearts aren't in it.
To this Sunday’s Eucharist we bring both stacks of index cards. We bring our hearts that have been wounded by the disappointments and betrayals we have experienced in our lives. We bring the hurts caused by promises made to us, that went unfulfilled. We ask for healing, so that our hearts, once hardened by betrayals great and small, might be softened by the Christ who is present to us in this sacrament and who knows himself the wounds of betrayal caused by those closest to him. We ask for healing.
We also ask for forgiveness for those we have disappointed with our empty or half-hearted "Yeses." They put trust in us, perhaps at their most vulnerable times, and we did not follow through and were not there when we promised we would be.
What I find interesting in today's parable is that there is no mention in it of how things turned out. How hard of a worker was the first son when he finally got to the vineyard to work? Did he meet his quota; do what was expected of him? There are no standards of measurements laid out for us in this story. The emphasis is just on someone who changed his mind; who in the end, responded to an invitation. Maybe that is what is pleasing to God: our desire to serve; our attempts to respond --while we leave plenty of room for God to step in and fill in the gaps. The big ones and the small ones.
Weekly Memorization
Taken from the gospel for today’s session…
Which of the two did the Father’s will?
Living the Good News
What action can you take in the next week as a response to today’s reading and discussion?
Keep a private journal of your prayer/actions responses this week. Feel free to use the personal reflection questions or the meditations which follow:
Reflection Questions
What are the subtle ways in which a “yes” becomes a “no”?
Have I ever said “yes” to someone or to a group but really meant “no”?
Have I ever said “yes” but somehow never got around to living out that “yes”?
What were the reasons—to keep the peace in the moment; to avoid public embarrassment; to avoid conflict, laziness or forgetfulness for example?
Did it change my relationship to the person or to the group?
Did I ever acknowledge my failure to follow through or did I just ignore it, hoping no one would notice?
How did it work out?
It is easy to give words of assent, and harder to follow through with time, effort and attention. With which of these two sons do I identify myself?
Which am I—the smooth but unreliable daddy-pleaser, or the guy who, even with a bad grace, does the job?
How many times did someone in my life say he or she would do something, and then did not?
How did I feel?
Did it alter our relationship?
Has my response to such a disappointment been an unwillingness to trust anyone again, or an unwillingness to take a risk?
What is the difference between a casual promise to do something and a solemn promise to do something (a dinner date or a vacation plan vs marriage vows, religious vows, a confidentiality promise, a legal agreement)?
Who, in today’s world, would be the ones society considers “righteous ones”?
Today, who are the prostitutes and the publicans who say: “I do not want to”, but who end by doing the will of the Father?
Jesus, on his last journey to Jerusalem, makes it clear to the important religious leaders within his hearing that He considers them people who practice lip service, but whose hearts are far from God. Again, He states a preference for those the world deems unworthy or sinful, but who change their hearts and minds to do God’s will. How comfortable am I with that idea?
Have I ever been complacent about my relationship with God?
Have I ever fallen away, even a little, from my commitment to Jesus and the gospel?
In other words, Have I ever said “yes” to God, but failed to keep my promise?
What were the reasons?
Can I recommit?
Why or why not?
Do I see in this gospel a message that it is never too late to turn back to doing what God wants?
Conversion is a lifetime process, so where am I in the process of conversion?
Meditations
A Meditation in the Ignatian Style/Imagination:
From “Sacred Space”. A service of the Irish Jesuits…..
Jesus says to me: ”What do you think”? Do I take time out to think about where I stand in relation to God? Do I give my soul an opportunity to catch up? I ask the Lord to help me to give time to thinking about things that really matter….
I review the statements and declarations I have made; I ask God to help me abide by them and accept God’s forgiveness for where I have fallen short…..
Jesus speaks this parable to me. I avoid applying it to others right now and simply accept Jesus’ warmth as he sees how I have served. I listen for his invitation as he shows me where I hold back…..
To live in the kingdom is to be ready to rub shoulders with all kinds. God’s love is given freely and is accepted by many. I pray for a heart that is open to those who are not like me……
A Meditation in the Augustinian Style/ Relationship:
I think of those people in my life who have disappointed me in one way or another. Have I forgiven them? Was that forgiveness extended in such a way that I was able to use it as way of reminding them how they failed me in the past? Was it a revisiting of the sense of betrayal I felt so they could feel guilty all over again? How could I forgive people for failing me without dredging up those failures? Can I forgive myself for the times I have failed another, or failed God? What does that process look like?
A Meditation in the Dominican Style/Asking Questions:
Often, when people are attracted to a certain religion or when people who are repelled by the same, there has been an experience with a person who mirrored for them a certain notion of religion. People who encounter scandalous, indifferent, ignorant, judgmental or intolerant Catholics are going to be repelled. People who encounter joyful Catholics who believe and can be honest with their joys and struggles might be attracted and even converted. So the challenge is this: Can you give an account of your faith? Can you avoid defensiveness and “church-speak” when discussing your religious views? Are you a welcoming and understanding person? Are you re-making the Church and God in your own image and presenting that image as truth? Are you slapping quick and uncompromising theological answers on some really painful dilemmas people have? Are you listening for what is not being said? Are you mirroring Jesus as he talked to tax collectors and sinners? Is your version of Church always right, or can you enter into dialogue? In your interactions this week try to reflect on the version of Catholicism you are presenting to those you meet. It really matters!
Poetic Reflection:
This poem by e.e.cummings demonstrates the complacency of those who are sure they do no wrong, are sure that they have always said “yes”, but who have often said “no” to what matters, like humility, caring for others, not bad-mouthing or gossiping about others, listening to the voice of God in their lives, etc.:
the Cambridge ladies who live in furnished souls
are unbeautiful and have comfortable minds
(also, with the church's protestant blessings
daughters, unscented shapeless spirited)
they believe in Christ and Longfellow, both dead,
are invariably interested in so many things-
at the present writing one still finds
delighted fingers knitting for the is it Poles?
perhaps. While permanent faces coyly bandy
scandal of Mrs. N and Professor D
....the Cambridge ladies do not care, above
Cambridge if sometimes in its box of
sky lavender and cornerless, the
moon rattles like a fragment of angry candy
Closing Prayer
Lord, help me to say yes when I am supposed to and no when I have to—discerning what my answer should be through prayer and reflection. May your will be done, and may I be a manifestation of that will. Help me to be honest and true, faithful and giving without strings attached…..
Please show your kindness and understanding to those who were not able to follow through, who failed you for one reason or another. Help me to be an instrument of your kindness and understanding to those ion my life who have failed me or failed themselves’
