24th Sunday in Ordinary Time

September 13, 2026

Forgiveness is not optional.

GOSPEL

Matthew 18:21-35

Peter approached Jesus and asked him, “Lord, if my brother sins against me, how often must I forgive? As many as seven times?” Jesus answered, “I say to you, not seven times but seventy-seven times. That is why the kingdom of heaven may be likened to a king who decided to settle accounts with his servants. When he began the accounting, a debtor was brought before him who owed him a huge amount. Since he had no way of paying it back, his master ordered him to be sold, along with his wife, his children, and all his property, in payment of the debt.  At that, the servant fell down, did him homage, and said, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay you back in full.’ Moved with compassion the master of that servant
let him go and forgave him the loan. When that servant had left, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a much smaller amount. He seized him and started to choke him, demanding, ‘Pay back what you owe.’ Falling to his knees, his fellow servant begged him, Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.’But he refused. Instead, he had the fellow servant put in prison until he paid back the debt. Now when his fellow servants saw what had happened, they were deeply disturbed, and went to their master and reported the whole affair. His master summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you your entire debt because you begged me to. Should you not have had pity on your fellow servant, as I had pity on you?’ Then in anger his master handed him over to the torturers until he should pay back the whole debt. So will my heavenly Father do to you, unless each of you forgives your brother from your heart.”

REFLECTIONS ON THE GOSPEL

First Impressions by Jude Siciliano, OP

Forgiveness isn’t easy, especially when offenses against us have caused pain not only to ourselves, but to someone we love. A conversation recently with a woman who had a bitter divorce gave evidence of the hurts that accompany almost every divorce.  The woman is an unskilled worker with a fourteen-year-old daughter to raise. She wonders how she’ll pay her daughter’s fees and expenses for this new school year. Her former husband has withheld child support, though he can afford it. The mother is a devout Christian and feels guilty for her anger and resentment toward her former spouse. I wonder how she will hear this parable today in church? Sometimes when I read scriptures the sense is rather clear and I can take something with me, a message for reflection. Even if I don’t understand an entire passage, I listen for a word, phrase, image or verse I can chew on and pray about till the next time I go to the bible or hear the scriptures  proclaimed in church. For example, last week I was challenged not to let an offense against me fester. Instead, I heard Jesus say I should go to the offending brother or sister and talk over the offense with him/her. I don’t have to be a bible scholar to get something from passages like that. But then there’s today’s story! The passage starts simply enough with a question by Peter.  His inquiry picks up where we left off last week with Jesus’ description of the reconciliation process members of the community should pursue when an offense against them has been committed. By now, who among us doesn’t know the centrality and importance of forgiveness in the Christian community? Lest we forget, we are soon reminded of it whenever we say the Lord’s Prayer, “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.” Even if we weren’t religious people, psychologists have told us of the importance of forgiveness, not only in our relationships with others, but for our own mental well-being. In today’s gospel passage Peter puts a question about forgiveness to Jesus.  Peter seems to think he has the right answer. But Jesus answers the question in a way that must have surprised Peter and, as if to back up his response, Jesus tells a parable. But this parable isn’t like one of those passages I mentioned above, easily accessible for reflection. It is a rough-sounding parable. On first hearing I feel edgy because God doesn’t come off sounding like anyone I’d like to get close to or get to know. After ending the parable about the unforgiving debtor’s being handed over to the torturers, “until he should pay back the whole debt,” Jesus adds, “So shall my heavenly Father do to you, unless each of you forgives your brother/sister from your heart.” See what I mean? Sounds like quite a change from the loving compassionate God Jesus has been manifesting in his speech and actions. As a preacher I also suspect that closing line is going to reinforce the image of the punishing and demanding God some of us still carry around within us, even if it is deep down at an unconscious level. What’s a preacher to do with all the baggage this parable is carrying? As we approach this parable let’s remember it is a Parable – not an Allegory. The parable is setting out for us something about what it is like to live under God’s dominion.  The king is not a figure for God; nor do the debtors represent us. Jesus presents a story in response to Peter’s question. It is for us to consider. What is there in the world of this parable that reveals something to us of the workings of the kingdom of heaven? If we make God’s behavior the same as the king’s in the story, we will run into some tough issues: Is God really as vengeful as the powerful king?  Will God stop being merciful if we are not forgiving? Is God’s forgiveness conditional? Whatever happened to the all-embracing mercy of God that Jesus has been revealing in the gospel? Let’s look more closely at the parable.  First its setting or the occasion of Jesus’ telling the parable. Peter asks his question about the number of times we “must” forgive.  Poor Peter! He probably thought he was finally getting the point of Jesus’ teaching, since Jesus had just explained the process believers had to go through to be reconciled with offenders (Matt. 18: 15-20—last week’s gospel immediately precedes today’s). Peter probably thought he was being generous by suggesting forgiving a brother/sister seven times.  That seems like a lot of forgiveness for a repeat offender. And in their belief, seven was a perfect number, it had a fullness. But even a “perfect number” has its limits; at a point one could say, “There, I have done what is required.” Jesus’ response, “seventy-seven times,” as if to say, “you must forgive on and on and on.” He is telling the community that forgiveness is not counted or measured out like items on a shopping list – a dozen eggs, a six-pack of beer, two pounds of potatoes. Forgiveness, Jesus is saying, has no limits.You can see why he would have to follow up this statement with a parable. Jesus needs to underline the prominence, and quality forgiveness must have in his church. I wonder if there is a part of the parable that has been cut out?  After the initial debtor is forgiven the huge debt, why don’t we hear about his relief, joy and celebration?  Why isn’t he jumping up and down like a person who has been let out of prison or won a 10-million-dollar lottery (one commentator says that in the original language the “huge amount” the servant owed the king would be the wages of a day laborer for 150,000 years!)  The unforgiving servant couldn’t possibly pay back what he owed to the powerful king. He says he needs time, but no matter how much time he would be given, or what he might have tried to do, he would never have been able to pay back even a fraction of what he owed. He was completely under the power of the king. But instead of “justice,” he received mercy. Parables always seem to have an element of surprise, something no one using worldly logic would have predicted.  The servant has entered an entirely new way of living; using the world’s sense of justice, his debts should have ended his life and the life of his family. They were about to be sold.  Instead, he and his family are set free from a debt they could never have paid. In the light of the great gift, the servant should have seen the rest of his life as living under the freedom he was given. He should have been aware that “all is gift.” But none of this sinks in; he somehow has blocked the gift from affecting his life. We have proof-positive that he is unchanged when he refuses to forgive his fellow servant, “who owed him a much smaller amount.” Sometimes as I work on a parable – rather, as a parable works on m –  I try to paraphrase the major issues I am hearing.  So far, this is what comes to me.  The parable’s main features:  a person owes a debt he could never repay, even though he claims he will.  The debt is forgiven, not because of anything the debtor said or did, but due to an entirely gratuitous gesture by the one who owed the debt.  The released debtor is unchanged by the gift he has received and immediately refuses to offer another debtor forgiveness for, in comparison to what the former owed, an insignificant amount.  Since he was unaffected by the master’s enormous generosity, he is back to where he started, in debt with no way to pay it back. Now he must pay the consequences of his debt. I hear the core gospel message restated in this parable. There is nothing we have done, or can do, to earn forgiveness. God gives it to us over and over again, “seventy-seven times.” First of all, we need to reflect on this truth. Our life with God is a gift, from beginning to end.  We pause at today’s Eucharist to let that truth sink into our bones. When we asked for forgiveness today, we received it. The eucharist is our act of thanksgiving for what we realize again we have received from the hands of a gracious  God. A sign that we really believe we have been forgiven free of charge is to give similar forgiveness to others, again and again.  I am thinking of that single mother whose husband refuses to pay child support.  I would go after him with the force of the civil law until he paid up. But in the light of today’s’ s gospel, I would pray for the power to forgive him so that I could get on with my life and set him free to do the same. After he has paid up!

Justice Bulletin Board by Barbara Molinari Quinby, MPS, Director Office of Human Life, Dignity, and Justice Ministries Holy Name of Jesus Cathedral, Raleigh, NC

Wrath and anger are hateful things, yet the sinner hugs them tight. —Sirach 27:30

Several things are overlapping at this moment. The national movement, Campaign Nonviolence, begins its annual “week” this coming September 21 on the International Day of Peace and concludes October 2 on the International Day of Nonviolence. Campaign Nonviolence seeks to mainstream nonviolence as a way of life and opposes war, poverty, racism, and environmental destruction. Speaking of the latter, this is also the annual Season of Creation whose theme this year is “Let Justice and Peace Flow.” “God wants justice to reign,” states Pope Francis in his Day of Creation message 9/1/2023, which “is essential for our proper life as children created in the image of God, no less than water is essential for our physical survival.” Pope Francis proclaims that it is precisely “our unbridled burning of fossil fuels and the destruction of forests that are raising temperatures and provoking great droughts”, while “the terrible shortage of water increasingly besets our homes, from small rural communities to large metropolises.” As I am writing this column, I am watching the catastrophic results of the firestorm in Lahaina, Maui. The loss of life in an out-of-control fire is devastating. One person interviewed said that the fire hydrants literally had no water. Pope Francis states in his encyclical, Laudato Si’, that “everything is connected.” If, in fact, everything is connected then, in order to have peace with each other and the earth, several nonviolent actions must be taken so that we can set in motion a “transformation of our hearts, our lifestyles and the public policies that govern our societies” (Pope Francis 9/1/2023). Pope Francis explains: “Peace means Forgiveness. . .[and] makes it possible to heal old wounds. Peace means Welcome, openness to dialogue, the overcoming of closedmindedness. . . Peace means Cooperation, a concrete and active exchange with another. . .Peace denotes Education, a call to learn every day. . .to acquire a culture of encounter, purifying the conscience of every temptation to violence. . .” (9/20/16). Forgiveness. Welcome. Cooperation. Education. If we truly want peace on earth and with creation, we must involve ourselves in all four. Yet, as Sirach states “the sinner hugs them tight.” We hold on to our grudges, we close the door on encounters with others and the earth, we seek to dominate not cooperate, and we fail to educate ourselves. Will you let yourself be transformed?

Faith Book

Mini-reflections on the Sunday scripture readings designed for persons on the run. “Faith Book” is also brief enough to be posted in the Sunday parish bulletins people take home.

From todays Gospel reading: I forgave you your entire debt because you begged me to. Should you not have had pity on your fellow servant, as I had pity on you?

Reflection: In Jesus teaching it is quite clear, we must be known by our forgiveness, not because we have to earn it from God.  But because God has already forgiven us without reservation or limits. If we hold back forgiveness from others, then this is a sign we have not accepted it ourselves from God and allowed it to enter our hearts to change us.  Christians are those who live and act in the light of God’s forgiveness.

So we ask ourselves:

• After receiving the Sacrament of Reconciliation am I convinced in faith that all I have confessed has been forgiven?

• When else do I experience an assurance of God’s forgiveness?

Reflection

Last Sunday’s Gospel, from the same chapter as today’s, was about fraternal correction and about the possible necessity to expel a member from the Christian community. We are talking about someone who persists in behaving in a way which is totally at variance with the values of a community whose life vision is based on the Gospel. Such expulsion may be necessary, if the community is to be a credible witness to the Gospel and to be seen as the visible Body of Christ. But such an expulsion need not be permanent, in fact, it is hoped that it will not be. At the first sign of repentance, the offender is to be welcomed back and helped to re-integrate into the community. So, today’s Gospel is about forgiveness. Peter, who is beginning to learn his Master’s ways, asks how many times he should forgive. Seven times? It sounds pretty generous. But it is not generous enough for Jesus: “Not seven times, Simon, but 77 times,” he says, that is, indefinitely.

A story of two servants
And, to make his point, he goes on to speak of a king and his two servants who owe very differing sums of money. One owes a huge amount to the king and, by rights, should be thrown into a debtor’s prison, until he has paid off his debt – something he was unlikely to be able to do. After passionate entreaties, his debt is wiped out by the king. Then the same servant goes after a fellow-servant who owes him what is relatively a paltry sum. Because this second servant cannot pay up at once, he is thrown into the debtor’s prison. When the king hears about it he throws the first servant to the torturers until he has paid off the debt. The message is perfectly clear: “And that is how my Father will deal with you unless you each forgive your brother or sister from your heart.” God forgives us without limit. If we are to be like him – and that is our calling in life – we must do the same. And it is not just a piece of advice. Our very salvation depends on it.

Vengeance is mine
What Jesus is condemning is made clear in today’s First Reading from the Book of Ecclesiasticus: “Resentment and anger are foul things, and both are found with the sinner…” “He who exacts vengeance will experience the vengeance of the Lord…“Forgive your neighbour the hurt he does you, and when you pray, your sins will be forgiven…And note that the writer says that when we forgive a brother or sister, it is MY sin, not THEIR which is forgiven by God. “If a man nurses anger against another, can he then demand compassion from the Lord?  Showing no pity for a man like himself, can he then plead for his own sins?…“Mere creature of flesh, he cherishes resentment; who will forgive him his sins?…“Remember the last things, and stop hating…”

How forgive?
If hate and resentment get us nowhere, what are we to say about forgiveness? Is it just a matter of turning a blind eye to what people do to us or to others? Are we to say, “Oh, never mind! Forget about it!” Can we turn a blind eye to murder, violence, physical abuse, gross dishonesty and corruption, sexual abuse and infidelity…? Not according to last Sunday’s Gospel: If a person remains unrepentant of the harm he/she has done, then “treat him like a pagan or a tax collector”. In other words, boot him/her out of the community. In the Gospel, forgiveness always includes reconciliation and personal healing. It also includes unconditional love (agape, ‘agaph), the love of the God who makes his sun and rain to fall on good and bad alike. Forgiveness – in the Gospel, as with God — must include not just overlooking the wrong done but in bringing back the wrongdoer. The parables of the good shepherd and his lost sheep, the woman and her lost coin, the loving father and his lost son tell us how God acts – and how we, too, should act. It is important to note at this point that our faith is not simply a question of good and bad actions but of relationships. Forgiveness is not about undoing evil actions (what is done is done and cannot be undone) but of restoring broken relationships, about healing and reconciliation.

A sacrament for reconciliation
So we speak now, not of the ‘Sacrament of Confession’ or the ‘Sacrament of Penance’ but of the Sacrament of Reconciliation. This sacrament is not, as many seem to believe, a sacrament of wiping out our past acts as if they no longer existed. Rather, it is a matter of turning back to, of restoring our relationship with God and also with all those who have been touched (and may still be hurting) from our sins, our failures to love. And, just as we expect God to accept us back into his loving arms again and again without limit, so he expects us to be ready to do the same for others. Of course, it can be a long process. Like God, like the father in the parable, we often have to wait patiently, lovingly, hopefully for the turning point of someone who has hurt us. As the Gospel earlier this week reminded us, those who have hurt us, our “enemies”, most need our prayers, they need God’s blessings to soften their hearts. And, when it happens, we need to be ready to receive back our brother or sister just we expect God to receive us back when we say ‘Sorry’ to him.

ENCOUNTER CHRIST REFLECTIONS AND MEDITATIONS

Preparation for the Session

Adapted from Sacred Space: The Prayer Book 2025

Presence of the Lord: Jesus, As I come to you today, fill my heart, my whole being, with the wonder of your sacred presence. Help me to become more aware of your presence in my life, and more receptive to that presence. I desire to love you as you love me. May nothing ever separate me from you. (1-2 minutes of silence)

Freedom: Jesus, Grant me the grace to have freedom of spirit. Keep me from being bound by desires and actions that are not good for me or others.  Cleanse my heart and soul that I may live joyously in your love. (1-2 minutes of silence)

Consciousness: Where am I with God? With others in my life? What am I grateful for? Is there something I am sorry for, words or actions that have hurt others, and which I now regret? I take a moment to ask forgiveness of God and of those whom I have hurt.  God, I give you thanks for your constant love and care for me. Keep me always aware of your presence in my life. (2-3 minutes of silence)

Opening Prayer

Lord, teach me openness of heart to those who need my understanding and forgiveness. Help me to extend forgiveness that is genuine and complete, not conditional or grudging. I know this is so very hard, Lord, and I will need your guidance and understanding. Help me to  realize when I need forgiveness of you or others I my life, and grant me the humility to admit when I have been wrong.

Companions for the Journey

Adapted from John Boll, O.P. in “First Impressions”,2005 and William Bausch in 60 More Seasonal Homilies:
I think today’s readings stir up some questions in all of us:  Jesus’ answer seems naïve and maybe even dangerous.  He seemed to lack any common sense or even to have forgotten the apparent likelihood that giving lots and lots of pardons would not even in the tiniest way get anyone to stop doing bad things.  And Yet, I suspect Jesus was not all that naïve—I think we need to look at some assumptions we make about forgiveness, so here are five things forgiveness is NOT:

1.  Forgiveness is not ignoring evil and forgetting wrongs that have been committed by individuals, governments, churches—even ours. In some places—the Balkans, Northern Ireland, the Middle East- to forgive my enemy is to betray my ancestors; to forgive is to make a mockery of their sacrifices; to forgive is to condone wrongs against justice and decency. Elie Weisel, in speaking of the Holocaust said: “We must forgive, but we must never forget.” 

2.  Forgiveness is not the enabling of bad or destructive behavior. We hear all the time of people who stay in abusive relationships out of a mistaken sense of their obligation to “turn the other cheek”.  Let me be very clear:  I don’t think we are called to be passive victims of abusive and destructive behavior.  Rather, I think what we are actually empowered to do is to invoke civil law to extricate ourselves and those for whom we are responsible from a dangerous situation, and then we invoke divine law or the grace of God to help us heal and get rid of our anger so we can move on with a productive and happy life.  We hear also of co-dependents in addictive situations—alcohol or drugs—who forgive and forgive, and their loved one does not get better, he or she gets worse.  So the reality is that a simplistic” forgive and forget” is not what is called for here.  Where we can, we need to avoid being someone else’s victim.

3.  Forgiveness is not a demonstration of my wonderfulness.  This is forgiveness with a hook, one-up forgiveness, and it says, in effect: “ I have weighed, judged you and your behavior and found you sorely lacking in qualities that are worthy of my respect.  I have these qualities at this point in time, but you do not.  I humbly recognize my superior moral strength and your weakness, my consistent moral behavior and your lack of morality.  I forgive you your trespasses.  You, of course, will find some suitable way to be grateful from this day forward.” This is not forgiveness. This is manipulation.

4.  Forgiveness is not easy—sometimes it might even be impossible.  I don’t know how a rape victim forgives her rapist. I don’t know how the victim of sexual abuse as a child ever learns to get over it.   I don’t know how someone whose parents were gassed and Auschwitz learns to forgive the Nazis who were the instrument of their deaths; I don’t know how the widow in Northern Ireland or New York gets past the anger and resentment. I don’t know how a parent learns to forgive someone who has damaged or murdered his or her child.  In fact, if I am sure of anything at all, it is that God understands our sorrows and our difficulties with resentment, anger--- understands, maybe even, our inability to let go and forgive someone.  At least, I sincerely hope so.  Yes, forgiveness is not easy—in fact, it is impossible, without God’s help. 

5.  Forgiveness is not optional—This passage from Matthew tells us that we should be merciful primarily because each of us has received mercy.  We are to forgive, not because someone deserves our forgiveness, but because we have been forgiven. When, at the end of the Our Father, we pray, "forgive us our trespasses as we Forgive those who trespass against us," we are asking God to let the experience of being forgiven so transform our hearts that we may likewise forgive others.  It would be a foolish person who would pray the other way around, asking God to forgive us only in the puny measure we are able to forgive others.  Our life with God is a gift, from beginning to end.  Whenever we asked for forgiveness from God, we received it. The Eucharist is our act of thanksgiving for what we realize again we have received from the hands of a gracious God.   A sign that we really believe we have been forgiven free of charge, is to give similar forgiveness to others, again and again.

Living the Good News

What action can you take in the next week as a response to today's reading and discussion? Keep a private journal of your prayer/actions responses this week. Feel free to use the personal reflection questions which follow.

Reflection Questions:

Have you ever had a falling out with a friend who hurt you?  
How did you deal with it?

“Whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven; and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven”
How does this phrase refer to my personal obligation to forgive?
Does it mean I will take my grudges and my Lack of forgiveness with me into the next life?
Does it mean that I will, in one way or another, take my grudges and my lack of forgiveness into the kingdom of God here on earth, which clearly has no place for them?   

Do I sometimes identify myself by a wound I have suffered or by an abuse I have endured? (I am a ________survivor). 
Why do I do this?
How does it keep my notion of victimhood alive?   

How hard is it for me to forgive someone who has really hurt someone I love?

How have past hurts affected my attitude about trusting others?

How grudgingly do I extend forgiveness to others?

Do I demand forgiveness of another, while withholding my forgiveness of someone? 

How is forgiveness related to mercy?

From theologian Romano Guardino: Justice is the enemy of love. Do I agree or disagree?

How does forgiveness exist while I am still seeking punishment? 
Can it?

Do I have trouble asking for or receiving forgiveness?   
Why is that?

How do I reconcile the reality that true forgiveness has no end--that we are called to forgive over and over-- with the need for self-preservation?

How do I forgive a wrong that has been done to me while preserving my own safety and sanity?  
At what point must I say “no more”?

How is forgiveness of another a type of healing for me?  
Do I see my own lack of forgiveness as shackles that bind me to the past or to another that I wish to be free from?  

From Jude Siciliano. O.P.: What effect has forgiveness had on my own life?
What person or institution am I called to forgive?  

Closing Prayer

Don’t forget to provide some prayer time at the beginning and at the end of the session (or both), allowing time to offer prayers for anyone you wish to pray for. 

Adapted from “A Psalm for Pardon” from Prayers for a Planetary Pilgrim by Father Edward Hays:
Grant me, O gracious One, 
Your great gift of pardon.
I have searched for it
In every pocket and hiding place
……..
I know it is here, 
Buried beneath my pain
in a back corner of my heart;
But for now it is lost.
I know that to forgive is divine, but I am not a deity,
And I fear that I will become a demon
Who, by failing to forgive
Will spread the kingdom of darkness.
Remind me ten times and more 
Of all that you have forgiven me—
Without even waiting for my sorrow,
The very instant that I slipped
Make me your messenger of your good news I cannot now speak
Give to me the healing words of forgiveness.  
Amen.

For the Week Ahead

Weekly Memorization: (Taken from the gospel for today's session) Lord, how often must I forgive?

Meditations:

A Meditation in the Dominican Style/Asking Questions: (Adapted from “First Impressions”, a service of the Southern Dominican Province) In today’s gospel passage Peter puts a question about forgiveness to Jesus.  Peter seems to think he has the right answer.  But Jesus answers the question in a way that must have surprised Peter and, as if to back up his response, Jesus tells a parable. But this parable isn’t like one of those passages we frequently mention, easily accessible for reflection.  It is a rough-sounding parable.  On first hearing we feel edgy because God doesn’t come off sounding like anyone we’d like to get close to or get to know. After ending the parable about the unforgiving debtor’s being handed over to the torturers, “until he should pay back the whole debt,” Jesus adds, “So shall my heavenly Father do to you, unless each of you forgives your brother/sister from your heart.” See what I mean?  Sounds like quite a change from the loving compassionate God Jesus has been manifesting in his speech and actions.   As a preacher I also suspect that closing line is going to reinforce the image of the punishing and demanding God some of us still carry around within us, even if it is deep down at an unconscious level.  What’s a preacher to do with all the baggage this parable is carrying?  How did you respond emotionally as well as intellectually to this parable?   What does it say about what God demands of us, even when it seems hard?

A Meditation in the Augustinian Style/Relationship: Is true forgiveness hard?  Yes, but it is also necessary for our emotional and spiritual health.  Think of someone who has hurt you in some way, and try to begin the process of forgiveness. Father Patrick Brennan in his book, The Way of Forgiveness, says that we stay forever frozen in the past if we do not begin somewhere. He suggests that we start by naming the pain. Perhaps you could use a journal to articulate those feelings of anger, hurt, revenge, depression. Stay with this exercise until you can accurately state what happened and how you felt. Hard as it is, this is the first step in moving forward. After doing this, read Luke 22:39-46.  What pain do you think Jesus was going through at this time? How did his disciples hurt him?  Name some other times when Jesus was hurt by those around him. How do you think he felt? Do you think he forgave them? The next thing to do is to DECIDE to forgive. You may revisit this decision many times, praying for the strength, the courage and the generosity of spirit forgiveness requires. Note: the decision to forgive must not necessarily be conveyed to the person who hurt you, and in any event my not be communicated in a way that merely reinforces your sense of  being wronged, or demonstrates any sort of moral superiority. Your next step might be to pray for the one(s) who have offended you. These steps may not always follow the pattern outlined. Like any emotional process, we may revisit certain stages until we have mastered them. The key to making this work rests in prayer and loving kindness--the sort Jesus modeled for us. And finally, reflect on what you have learned from your painful experience, thanking God for the wisdom you have gained. 

A Meditation in the Franciscan Style/Action: We cannot talk of forgiveness without discussing prison and our prison system, including capital punishment.  First, we need to think about why we have prisons in the first place.  They seem to have several purposes: retribution, incapacitation, deterrence and rehabilitation: 

Retribution:  A majority of people consider retribution the primary purpose of prisons. Depriving criminals of their freedom is a way of making them pay their debt to society by punishing them for their crimes. And these prisons should not be country clubs; they should be uncomfortable and maybe even harsh.  These criminals are being  PUNISHED! They hurt others; we need to hurt them.  The whole issue of the death penalty is usually part of the discussion about retribution. 

Incapacitation removes these people from society so they will not hurt others.  The type of prison accommodations  for these offenders might be less harsh if those in charge favored removal of society over punishment.  

Deterrence means the prevention of future crimes by those see what happens to those who have done the same thing.   Fear of incarceration and punishment is thought to be a motive in keeping others from criminal acts.  There have been studies which demonstrate the effectiveness or the ineffectiveness of this theory.

Rehabilitation, for some, is the major object of incarceration. Changing criminals in law-abiding citizens requires a change of heart and mind, and it is  a long and arduous process, especially if childhood abuse or addiction are part of the picture It is obvious that providing counseling education. vocational training, spiritual accompaniment, connections to loved ones being strengthened, an ongoing  support system after release from prison.

These four major purposes have not been stressed equally, and in some cases are in direct opposition to one another.  As a result prions differ in their facilities, staff and operations. Local public opinion can be widely divergent and often acrimonious in determining prison policies in various areas of our country. In reading this passage from Matthew, we have to ask ourselves what gospel principles should inform our attitudes on prisons and punishment. What do I think is the purpose of incarceration? How do we deal with the victims and their loved ones? How do I feel about the morality of capital punishment? Do I have a responsibility to address these issues as a Christian? In the spirit of Jesus, am I called to do anything for prisoners, such as writing to death row inmates, or volunteering to visit or work with prisoners in any way? The very least I can do is write someone in prison, especially someone on death row. ( WriteAprisoner.com) ….

A Meditation in the Ignatian Style/Examen: (From “Sacred Space” a service of the Irish Jesuits) I Think of those who have caused me hurt and how I have reacted. I pray for them and, even if I can’t wish them well now, I pray that one day I might…

Poetic Reflection: 

Is this like God’s forgiveness? How can we mirror it?

To My Mother
I was your rebellious son,
do you remember? Sometimes
I wonder if you do remember,
so complete has your forgiveness been.

So complete has your forgiveness been
I wonder sometimes if it did not 
precede my wrong, and I erred,
safe found, within your love, 

prepared ahead of me, the way home,
or my bed at night, so that almost
I should forgive you, who perhaps
saw the worst that I might do,

and forgave me before I could act,
causing me to smile now, looking back,
to see how paltry was my worst,
compared to your forgiveness of it

already given. And this, then,
is the vision of that Heaven of which
we have heard, where those who love
each other have forgiven each other,

where, for that, the leaves are green
the light a music in the air,
and all is unentangled,
and all is undismayed.

—By Wendell Berry (a former Stanford Stegner Fellow who died last week) from Entries