23rd Sunday in Ordinary Time, September 7, 2025

The real cost of discipleship

Luke 14: 25–33

Large crowds were traveling with Jesus, and turning to them he said: “If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my disciple. And whoever does not carry their cross and follow me cannot be my disciple.

“Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Won’t you first sit down and estimate the cost to see if you have enough money to complete it? For if you lay the foundation and are not able to finish it, everyone who sees it will ridicule you, saying, ‘This person began to build and wasn’t able to finish.’

“Or suppose a king is about to go to war against another king. Won’t he first sit down and consider whether he is able with ten thousand men to oppose the one coming against him with twenty thousand? If he is not able, he will send a delegation while the other is still a long way off and will ask for terms of peace. In the same way, those of you who do not give up everything you have cannot be my disciples.”

Preparation / Centering

If done in a group setting, the prompts are read aloud by the leader; otherwise a silent meditation.

Adapted from Sacred Space: The Prayer Book 2025

Presence of God:

Jesus, As I come to you today, fill my heart, my whole being, with the wonder of your sacred presence. Help me to become more aware of your presence in my life, and more receptive to that presence. I desire to love you as you love me. May nothing ever separate me from you.

[1-2 minutes of silence]

Freedom:

Jesus, Grant me the grace to have freedom of spirit. Keep me from being bound by desires and actions that are not good for me or others. Cleanse my heart and soul that I may live joyously in your love..

[1-2 minutes of silence]

Consciousness:

Where am I with God? With others in my life? What am I grateful for? Is there something I am sorry for, words or actions that have hurt others, and which I now regret? I take a moment to ask forgiveness of God and of those whom I have hurt. God, I give you thanks for your constant love and care for me. Keep me always aware of your presence in my life.

[2-3 minutes of silence]

Opening Prayer

Teach me, O Lord, to have trust in your love and goodness. I ask you to show me what I am holding onto too tightly to be your true disciple. Teach me not to invest my whole life in people or approval or things that increase my pleasure and personal comfort at the expense of others or the world at large. Teach me not to settle for the comfort and security that keeps me from hearing your call.

Companions for the Journey

By Jude Siciliano, O.P., from “First Impressions”:

I will be tempted to apologize to the congregation this Sunday after I read this gospel passage. What a “turn off” it is with its talk of “hating father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sister and even [your] own life;” and then it asks us to “renounce all your possession,” if we are to be Jesus’ disciples. On first hearing the passage listeners are going to think Jesus inhabited another planet. He certainly sounds far removed from our lives, we who do all we can to: love our parents, especially as they age or become infirm. We agonize over how to best care for them—take them into our homes? bring in home care? place them in a nursing home? We supervise their medications, take them for innumerable medical procedures and checkups, visit them as much as possible, make frequent phone calls, etc. So what is all this talk about “hating” parents?

And what’s all this talk about “hating” wives? (I suppose here he really means spouses.) With divorce rates approaching 50% in our country and dioceses and parishes doing their best, both before and after weddings, to foster healthy marriages and keep them in tack. How is “hating” your spouse going to sound to married couples in the congregation and those hoping to get married? The list of “hatings” goes on in this reading, but you get the point. Could Jesus really mean such harsh sounding statements? And if he does, are we ready to renounce all possessions to follow him? Do we know anyone who has? And if they have, who is buying their food, paying their health insurance and housing them?

This is an obvious place for a little research and so I go to the biblical commentaries for help. The word for “hate” is taken from the Greek word that is used in biblical passages to suggest a lesser love. It doesn’t refer to the rage and fury that hate signifies in our language. It could mean having a secondary attachment to someone or thing, the kind of detachment that would enable a person to turn away from whomever or whatever distracts them from following Jesus and the demands of discipleship. God wants us to love and that certainly includes our families and spouses. Remember, Jesus called his disciples to love even enemies; he certainly would include in that love those closest to us, like parents, spouses, children and brothers and sisters. Notice that he mentions the cross right after speaking about “hating.” To bear the cross here doesn’t mean putting up with those afflictions in life over which we have little say. Rather, we can see from the context that we may experience pain as we make choices to stay the course--- to continue with Jesus on the road to Jerusalem and suffering.

Having said all this, Jesus is still placing demands on those who would join him on his journey. Let’s not presume the listeners in Jesus’ day were any less put off by what Jesus just said. They may have been poor, but they cherished possessions too and, like us, probably wanted or needed more of them. Family life, if anything, was even more precious to Jesus’ contemporaries. While we prize individuality and being able to “go it on our own,” at that time, a person’s very identity depended on membership in family, clan and religious sect. Prestige and reputation were intimately linked to the social standing people had in their social network. If a person at that time packed up and decided to set out on their own—they would, in effect, lose their identity.

Earlier in this gospel Jesus spelled out what characterized the new family relationship he came to establish. His new family would be those who hear and respond to God’s word (8:21; 11:27-28). So, if we are to be part of this new family, other ties and allegiances are to be secondary and even put aside, if necessary. As his followers we are in a new network of relationships, a new family that consists of those who have, like us, chosen to follow Jesus. In this family we will be mixing it up with a whole new set of people—those with and those without wealth and social status. We heard two weeks ago that “some are last who will be first, and some are first who will be last.” Jesus has come to establish something very different from our usual ways of relating. Obviously it is not going to be “business as usual.”

This new mixture will be quite a shock to the system of those who were well-connected in life. Reminds me of the day I was walking through the prison yard with some new volunteers. They were friends from a nearby parish and had given up their Sunday morning with family and friends to worship with inmates at the prison chapel. One looked around at the scene of hundreds of inmates milling around in the yard we were walking through and said to me, “this is really stretching me.”

There it was—“stretching!” What he was saying was, how strange he found it, coming from his family and social background, to be in such a very different place. And pretty soon he was going to be celebrating mass with some of them! You could almost hear him saying to himself, “How did I get here anyway?” Following Jesus is what got him away from his familiar setting to “stretch” into a new world. He continued visiting the prison monthly and came to know a whole new family, people he would later refer to as “my brothers at the prison.” Quite a stretch!

But not to be entered into lightly, Jesus warns us. Think it over, Jesus says. Be like a person who is about to build a tower—will you be able to finish the job? Be like a king going to battle and “decide” if you can win the battle with the resources you have. Notice the examples Jesus uses—“building” and “marching into battle.” The first suggests a long project. We Christians are in a building process, the job feels half done at times as we look at our shortcomings and inadequacies in discipleship. We are not yet the model, generous and self-sacrificing disciples we ought to be. Well, don’t lose hope, the tower project isn’t finished yet. Or, as the saying goes, “Be patient with me, God isn’t done with me yet.”

The battle metaphor also gives us cause to pause and “decide” if we want to make the sacrifices needed to be a disciple. It is a harsh metaphor, in this present time of war, but it does suggest the arduous efforts and even pain sometimes asked of disciples. Even though we have already given our “Yes” to following Christ, there are times in our lives when we are asked to make choices that put our discipleship on the line. Some options require us to say “No” to what seems like attractive or easier ways of acting. These choices may put us at odds with family, friends or our surrounding culture; but we know we must choose in ways that echo the gospel we believe. At these times, today’s reading reminds us that we are in the midst of building a tower and that there is more to be done on the project. Or again, that we are in a battle and we need to gather our resources if we are to succeed. Do we have enough to make the right decisions, pay the price, endure the subsequent consequences of our choices? Probably not—but then, none of us have enough resolve, wisdom and strength on our own.

That is why we come to church, gather with one another to hear the Word and then draw close to be fed from the table. Look around at who is here with us, people we don’t usually see during the week, or socialize with on weekends. But here we are in a most cherished and important place, and whatever the political persuasion or economic and social status of those with us—nevertheless, we are a new kind of family, with people we now call sisters and brothers. That stretches us, doesn’t it? Just as Jesus predicted when he invited the crowds he met on the road to turn towards him and make him the priority of their lives.

Weekly Memorization

Taken from the gospel for today’s session…

“If you do not carry your own cross and come after me, you cannot be my disciple.”

Living the Good News

What action can you take in the next week as a response to today’s reading and discussion?

Keep a private journal of your prayer/actions responses this week. Feel free to use the personal reflection questions or the meditations which follow:

Reflection Questions

Jesus often uses hyperbole, a common form of rhetoric in those times. Is that what this is? Or does Jesus really mean “hate” our families and other loved ones? What do I think Jesus really means here? What does he mean by giving up all my possessions? How are my loved ones, my possessions, my accomplishments and my place in life a comfort zone for me? How willing am I to go out of my comfort zone to encounter Christ? Is there a way of life I am settling for, or is there an area of my life where it seems I am too comfortable to change? How does this apparent security hamper my freedom to be all that I can be? How does this security hamper me from becoming all that Jesus wants me to be? If I am surrounded by comfort, and people, and possessions, how hard is it for me to imagine what it is like to be forced from my home or my native land, by war, violence or poverty and fetch up in a new place alone, defenseless, and without anything? In another gospel, Jesus saw a young man go away sad, for his possessions got in the way of following Jesus. What possessions am I overly attached to? What position in my community, my work place or among my friends am I attached to? What people am I overly attached to? What, in short, are my priorities? Do I follow Jesus because my friends and family do? Do I follow Jesus out of fear or guilt? Did I ever stop to think that Jesus might want to be accompanied by friends who shared his mission instead of whining conscripts? Which am I? As the song says: “Freedom’s just another word for nothin’ left to lose”. In what ways am I not free because I think I have so much to lose? What in my life am I able to let go of to follow Jesus? Is there a particular cross I am asked to bear as I follow Jesus? Is it a big dramatic sacrifice or many daily little sacrifices? What part of my cross is in my own mind, based on my insecurities? Am I specifically asked to choose unhappiness, loneliness and sorrow in order to follow Christ? Have I looked carefully at the consequences of following Jesus? Am I realistic about any inconveniences or actual sacrifices I might be called to experience? Do I consider that following Jesus might not always give me the approval of friends and family, peace of mind, absolute certainty that I am doing the right thing, or even might not always give me spiritual comfort? What will be the cost to me of following Jesus? From Jenn Schaaf, Dominican Associate Campus Minister, Ohio Dominican University: Will you make the choice to follow Jesus? What will you have to give up in order to do so? What type of persecution might you face as a result of following Jesus? What types of persecution are others in the world facing? Do you truly believe that the Holy Spirit is given to you in guidance for “wisdom of heart”? Have I looked seriously and honestly at what is involved Christ’s invitation to follow Him? Am I part-time Christian? What is the “upside” of following Jesus, even if there are sacrifices?

Meditations

A Meditation in the Dominican Style/Considering the Issues at Hand:

From Dr. Lanie LeBlanc O.P. Dominican Laity (In “First Impressions” vol. 2 from many years ago): The Gospel reading this week is one of those that we might feel like dismissing with a “Nah, Jesus didn’t really mean that.” It tells us that in order to be a disciple, we have to 1) hate our families, 2) hate our own life, 3) take up our own cross, and 4) renounce all of our possessions. Well, in the “I am really enthusiastic about doing that” category, I might earn 0 % and I think I might have a lot of company in the not-ready-for-prime-time-discipleship class. We know from experience, however, that Jesus does mean what He says so we have to figure out exactly what he meant for us to do... and try to do it enthusiastically. I’m not sure I can do that exactly, but I think that I see some commonality here. The common message in all four of those things is that Jesus must be our first priority. Jesus must come first before family members, our own agenda, our comfort, and our possessions. Our lives need to be spent in chipping away at those things that detract us from a focus on Jesus. For most of us, that is usually our family members, what we want to do, our comfort, and our possessions. Jesus knew what He was saying after all! So, how do I put that into practice and implement consistently? Do I get defeated because the task is so great? Could I start, incrementally, picking one area in which I can put Jesus first, even a little at a time? Can I identify the things that are pulling me away from Jesus? Is there one habit, association, preoccupation that I must learn to “hate” in order to be totally free to live the way of Jesus? I must learn to hate the things that pull me away from Jesus, even if they are as close to me as my family members or myself or the important “things” in my life. Trying to do that, with the mind of Jesus and His help, will be taking up my cross and following Him. He will become my focus and I will become His disciple.

A Meditation in the Augustinian Style/Relationship:

Adapted from “Sacred Space”, a Service of the Irish Jesuits:

In prayer it is just me and God; for a while. All else is given up. As I pray, I reflect on the words: “whoever does not carry his own cross and come after me cannot be my disciple. “Carry the cross” reminds me of good Friday, and Jesus stumbling under the weight of his own cross.

For me, the cross is not inflicted on my life by the outside but part of my makeup. I reflect on my body’s and mind’s infirmities, the addictions, temptations and desires that rob me of my freedom. Carrying my cross seems not so much solving these problems, as learning to live with them, unsurprisable and humble. My possessions and comfort zones are challenged by my growing relationship with Jesus. What would help me loosen my grasp on these false securities? I turn to Jesus and ask his help so that I may trust Him fully, trust in the future fully. I pray that Jesus will prepare me and set my feet on the path to my heavenly home, which is with Him.

A Meditation in the Franciscan Style/Action:

“Nobody gets into Heaven without a letter of reference from the poor” —James Forbes as quoted by Ronald Rolheiser, OMI.
Who is going to write that letter of reference on my behalf? Who?

A Meditation in the Ignatian Style/Imagination:

The community of believers was of one heart and mind, and no one claimed that any of his possessions was his own, but they had everything in common. There was no needy person among them, for those who owned property or houses would sell them, bring the proceeds of the sale, and put them at the feet of the apostles, and they were distributed to each according to need. Thus Joseph, also named by the apostles Barnabas (which is translated “son of encouragement”), a Levite, a Cypriot by birth, sold a piece of property that he owned, then brought the money and put it at the feet of the apostles.

I re-read the selection from Acts of the Apostles, chapter 4, and imagine myself in Jerusalem, a prospective follower of those who speak to me of Jesus, God’s Chosen One, who came to show us what God wants for us. I own a considerable piece of property and live comfortably, if not richly. I look around and see everyone in the group selling what they own and giving the proceeds to Peter for distribution to any who need anything. Am I ready to do this? How will I live? How will I feed my family? Worse, how will I tell my wife? How will I take care of my parents who depend upon me now that they are old and infirm? How do I balance my obligations to those I love, and my personal love of comfort with the pulI I am experiencing to follow Jesus radically? I then look at my own 21st century life, and what which gospel is asking me to examine. For example, what is keeping me imprisoned, in a way of life that does not seem to match what Jesus was calling those early believers to experience? What incremental choices can I can make to be more attuned to the mission Jesus is calling me to? What personal economic sacrifices am I willing to make to be generous to those who have less than I do, to be generous to causes that are noble, to my church? (For example, do I give out of my excess, that is, the little which is left over after necessities for me and my family and rewards for hard work are factored in? What exactly, do I or my family “need”? Do I tell myself “I am worth it” at lot?) From whom am I willing to distance myself because their influence is not healthy for my spiritual life? How much time do I actually spend talking to Jesus? I resolve to change just one habit or delusion about myself this week in an attempt to align myself with Jesus and his mission.

Poetic Reflection:

What does this poem by Father Ed Ingebretzen, S.J., say to me about the distance I have yet to travel to be a true disciple of Jesus?

“Lonely Christ”

Lonely Christ
I pray to you.
You are a puzzle to me
as those I love
always are.

My soul is at odds
with the words.
What mad reach of mine
touches any thread of you?
Or what of mine, arms or eyes,
ever shares with people
where they may lie—
as they always do—
in a hard place!

What of mine shall make good
their taking of a breath,
their rising, caring, feeding
their sleeping in fear—
what shall make good
their slight faith,
their enormous promises
made in iron
for a child, man, a woman—

what of mine shall be with the people
as they caress a special grief
fondled again and again
In bludgeoned love?

What do I bring
with which to clutch
the merest hint of your shadow?

Poetic Reflection:

What does the poem by Father Michael Kennedy, S.J., tell me about taking Jesus at face value, about actually hearing what Jesus was saying so long ago?:

When Luke uses what We would call exaggeration As he has Jesus describe how The new disciples are to act and Where their priorities must be We tend to dismiss it because We still often refuse to take The Gospels on their own Terms and instead we Read them in light Of our images and Concepts and so Yet again we may Miss the point **** And of course He is Not asking for families to Be split apart nor for them To hate each other nor is He Really thinking that they should Go about being unprepared in even Little things but He is warning Them that truly nothing can Replace their commitment To Him and to the Ministry He will Entrust to them And which will Be demanding **** We are also in Trouble if we think of Discipleship as just another Workplace to be abandoned After hours on the job for this Jesus calls us to also be Christian (gasp) even On weekends **** © Michael J. Kennedy 2007

Closing Prayer

Dear Lord, help me take those steps that will lead me to participation in your Kingdom. Help me to turn away from anyone or anything that might hamper my journey. Help me to be generous of heart toward those who are struggling with these same issues. Above all, keep me on the path that leads ultimately to you.